Other productions

Staged at

The 2008 Marin Fringe Festival

THE CAST

  Carlo Caldana (Reverend Hedberg)

  Scott Ludwig (Jim Dartis)

  Kevin Baldwin (Ignat Splawn)

  Annie Barry (Sofia)

"A delightful farce."  San Francisco Bay Times

A young business genius who won't take no for an answer wants to marry the daughter of an inflexible church minister who won't give yes for an answer.

DARTIS: "I can read Japanese."

HEDBERG: "Me too. I just don't understand any of it."

DARTIS: "Tell your daughter you saw Splawn fooling around with a girl named Coco. She's a hooker I know. I'll send her over tomorrow. She'll back your story."

HEDBERG: "It's a devious plan. I'm against it. Mine will work better, it's even more devious."

HEDBERG: "Tell me something. What is the worst thing you've done in your life?"

SPLAWN: "I had a pet once. An earthworm."

HEDBERG: "What did you do to it?"

SPLAWN: "I buried it alive."

SPLAWN: "Teach him a good Christian lesson, Reverend."

HEDBERG: "Yes. But what?"

SPLAWN: "Ask him to slap your face, and then you offer him the other cheek."

HEDBERG: "No, not that."

SPLAWN: "How about this: If he asks you to give him your shirt, give him your coat as well."

HEDBERG: "Forget that."

SPLAWN: "I know: You can wash his feet like Jesus did when..."

HEDBERG: "Look. I'll handle him my way."

HEDBERG: "She's my maid. She doesn't understand a word of English."

DARTIS: "What does she speak?"

HEDBERG: "I can't figure it out."

DARTIS: "How do you communicate with her?"

HEDBERG: "I use hand signals."

HEDBERG: "Rosabelle is going to marry a very smart man."

SPLAWN: "Oh, thank you Reverend."

HEDBERG: "Not you. Jim."

DARTIS: "Me Jim... I better come back with an interpreter."